I Promise
by MioneAndRon4life
Summary: Ryan deals with the loss of his best friend, and gets a surprise along the way.


What I remember most from that moment I heard the news, is the room suddenly starting to spin uncontrollably as the words replayed over and over again in my head.

"_Sharpay died" "Sharpay died" "Sharpay died."_

I couldn't and, for a while, wouldn't bring myself to accept nor believe that. _"No. She isn't dead. She has too much to live for."_ It took all the strength I had to slowly bring my head up to look at the doctor. "She'd been gathering her things at her dance studio, and fainted. Her friend Zeke found her and called us. She had an aneurysm, Mr. Evans. I'm so sorry. We tried to save her, Ryan. Really, we did. But it was too late." She tried to console me as she wrapped her arms around me, but I couldn't bring myself to do the same. I just stood stiffly…it felt too surreal. My head was pounding so hard it felt as though it'd burst open any second. "C-can I see her?" were the only words I could form. The doctor pulled away from our cold embrace and nodded gently. She slowly led me through the tall, heavy emergency room doors down the longest hallway I'd ever walked in my life. I had to see this for myself. The doctor paused in front of a closed door, and, I noticed, avoided my eyes as she spoke. "She's in here." I looked at the door and nodded as she walked away. For a moment, I seriously considered turning my back and walking away. But I knew I couldn't. I couldn't do that to my baby sister. She may only have been born six minutes after me, but I felt like the older brother to her; the one who needed to be there for her. I closed my eyes as I pushed open the door. As soon as I opened them, my heart seemed to stop.

There, lying cold and lifeless on a hard bed was my beautiful twin sister, best friend, and other half. My heart rose up into my throat and my vision blurred as I forced my legs, one after another, to carry me to her bedside. I reached out to take her hand, and the second my skin made contact with hers, my emotions began to spill out of me uncontrollably and I cried harder than I ever had before.

"_Sharpay died" "Sharpay died" "Sharpay died."_

"Sh-Sharpay…why? P-please, come back. Sharpay, I can't do this without you. PLEASE SHARPAY! No. God, why her? WHY HER!" I couldn't stop myself, no matter how hard I tried. I couldn't understand why God had done this to her…to me. It truly did feel as though half of me had been ripped right out. I couldn't bear it. I slowly got up on the bed and wrapped my arms around her as I held her and cried. "I-I love you, Sh-Sharpay."

I held her and sobbed uncontrollably for hours until I had to be pryed off her bed as they rolled her body down the hallway. "SHARPAY!" I yelled as I tried to run after her, but two doctors were restraining me. "Ryan, she's gone, sweetie." I heard and turned around, hysterical, to see my weeping mother being embraced by my father. "NO! She ISN'T GONE!" I yelled and whipped around. The last thing I remember was the sight of a white sheet being placed delicately over her body. Without warning, my ears began ringing unbearably loud, and the room went dark.

Our parents had dropped me off at home quickly that night before heading back to the hospital. I knew I couldn't drive myself home. It didn't matter anyway. Nothing mattered now. I walked numbly up the stairs into my room, and instantly headed across the room to the door that adjoined my room with my twin's.

I walked into her room, and felt oddly calm. The room was still filled with life… from the hot pink walls, to the glitter everywhere, everything screamed "Sharpay". I looked at the pictures in the double frame on her nightstand. One was of us with my arms around her shoulders, and hers around my waist in a hug, or cheeks pressed next to each other's as we smiled at our third birthday party. I was wearing a prince crown, her-a princess crown. The other picture was of us at our sixteenth birthday, wearing the same crowns and standing in the same hugging position, wearing the same smiles.

I closed my eyes as I tried to remember the feeling of her embrace. These pictures normally made me smile every time I saw them, but looking at it now only brought more hurt and seemed to be a reminder that I'd probably never be able to smile again. I picked it up and held it as I looked around her room. Suddenly, something caught my eye. On her bed lay her sparkled, silver diary…the one I'd been warned several times by her not to read. _"It doesn't matter now."_ I thought, and walked toward the book. I took a deep breath, and then lowered myself onto her bed. I picked up her pillow and placed it on my lap carefully, not wanting to ruin anything…I was determined to preserve Sharpay for the longest time and in anyway I could.

I skimmed through her diary pages, stopping here and there to read an entry or two. It made me feel guilty…she'd always told me that she'd "Un-Twin Me" if I ever read it. But I couldn't help myself. Suddenly, I noticed a page that was different from all the rest. Instead of the heading reading "Dear Diary" like all the other pages, this one read "Dear Ryan". My eyes widened and my heart pounded. I knew I had to read it. I blinked hard, and then began to read.

_Dear Ryan,_

_Well, "big brother", today is our sixteenth birthday. _

My heart leapt to my throat again…so she did see me as an older brother. I looked down at the picture of us, and swallowed hard before I continued.

The big sixteen, the fabulous one-six. My, how the years have flown. I know that you'll never read this (you'd better not, Ryan William Evans…Don't forget, I'll un-twin you if you do!), but I decided that now was as good a time as ever to write this to you.

_I want you to know that when I said "I love you" today and every day in between, I meant that. If you're anything like me and feel sometimes like you have that freaky twin connection, I'm sure you already know that. But it really is true. _

I stopped reading and again looked at the pictures of us. "Of course I knew that, Shar." He said before continuing.

_You know I've always loved the spotlight, Ryan. And you never once failed to let me steal it. And yes, I've always felt guilty, but you've never judged me or looked down on me for it. You let me take it, and you did it with a smile. You give me encouragement every day, whether you know it or not. And I always learn from and appreciate it. Even through all the teasing and taunting you've received because of me, you'd keep your head up through it all and shake it off; and when I'd get teased, you'd stick up for me…two of the many things I admire you for. My life would be incomplete without you, Ryan. Really. I know it sounds pathetic, but it's true. You're the other half of who I am…the only person I couldn't live without._

Again, I stopped reading. She'd always been the one I couldn't live without either. And now, it just didn't seem possible that I_ could _live without her. I shivered.

_I'd give my life for you, you know. That's not just because I know you'd do the same, either. It's because I know you've got so much going for you. If anything were ever to happen to me, Ry, I wouldn't want you to be sad. I know, I'm getting mushy and creepy here, but you never know, I suppose (again with the creepy truth). I'd want you to live every day to its fullest and shoot for those stars. The only thing I WOULD ask of you is that you talked to me every day… and smiled, too. Keep that smile of yours…because that smile makes me smile. Promise me, ok?_

_Okay, enough of this, it's too mushy. What it all comes down to is that no matter what, Ry, I'll ALWAYS be here for you. Through **anything **and **everything**. _

_Here's to our sixteen years spent together, and many, many more to come. _

The tears in my eyes began to fall freely. If only what she'd written was true…it had barely even been a year.

I'll love you always and forever, Ryan. I promise. I'm proud to be your sister.

_Love ALWAYS,_

"_Shar"_

I wiped my tears away as I reread her last sentence

"_I'll love you always and forever…I promise."_

Sharpay was never one to break promises. Her biggest pet peeve was someone breaking a promise. I knew she meant it. So I carefully shut her diary and looked up at her ceiling and through her skylight and gazed at the stars in the sky. He could just hear her bubbly voice saying it now…

_If anything were ever to happen to me, Ry, I wouldn't want you to be sad._

_Keep that smile of yours…because that smile makes me smile. Promise me, ok?_

Without a second thought, though it was the hardest thing I'd had to do next to saying goodbye to my sister, I smiled my biggest smile for Sharpay.

"I promise. Goodnight, Shar. I love you."

With that, I laid down on her bed, held the pictures to my heart, and, breathing in her scent from her pillows, and sang, so that only she and I could hear, "What I've Been Looking For." After only a couple minutes, memories of my best friend and I put me to a calm, peaceful sleep. And somewhere in the night, I could've sworn I heard her whisper _"Always and forever, Ryan."_


End file.
